It's Time to Light the Lights...

In case you haven't heard, there's a new Muppet TV show coming this fall. It's going to filmed in the mockumentary style of The Office. I'll be honest. I don't like the mockumentary style. Neither do I enjoy The Office. However, comma, I do love the Muppets. I have ever since I was a child.

As part of the promotional preparation for The Muppets, Kermit and Miss Piggy made an announcement that was all over the news today. They are officially announcing that they are no longer a couple. The news piece I read said that they had been an item for forty years. 

Here's the thing: Kermit and Miss Piggy were never really a couple. Miss Piggy has been pursuing Kermit since one of the earliest episodes of The Muppet Show, but Kermit has never really returned her affection. Kermit has treated her attention as the price he must pay for getting Miss Piggy to perform on stage, in spite of her diva tantrums.

Even if Kermit and Miss Piggy had been a couple since the beginning, they would have separated long ago due to Miss Piggy's rampant infidelity. During the five seasons of The Muppet Show, Piggy threw herself at damn near every male guest star. The guest stars she didn't sexually harass? Marty Feldman and Don Knotts. In contrast, Kermit was enamoured of exactly one guest star: Linda Ronstadt. What did Piggy do when faced with the fact that Kermit was pursuing another female? She locked Kermit in the trunk where Gonzo kept his mildew collection.

Granted, the above examples could be inaccurate. I mention them from memory. I didn't really have time to do the research necessary to cite each example. However, that sounds like a fun project. 

In the future there's a good chance you'll see a much longer post filled with references and hard evidence.

Kermit and Miss Piggy were never a couple. This "break-up" is purely a promotional stunt. 

He-Man...

...and the Masters of the Universe is probably remembered by most of my generation as being much more awesome than it actually was. 

Don't get me wrong, I have great memories of the series, and I loved the toys. And that was the point, the series was invented to sell the toys. 

With any fictional work, especially one of fantasy, there is the "willing suspension of disbelief" in the person viewing or reading the work. I'm willing to accept that Peter Parker wears a costume so that Spider-Man's enemies don't go after Peter's family. In the Matrix, I can accept that most of the movie takes place inside a computer program. I'm even willing to believe that Harry Potter goes to a school that regular humans won't even be able to see, even if they manage to walk up to the front gates.

The He-Man/Prince Adam secret identity doesn't make any sense to me, no matter how much I try to make it work. In the original cartoon they didn't look all that different? Don't believe me? Check this out:

One of these things is barely not like the other. He has a tan.

In the 2002 reboot they at least tried to make the two look different:

They have the same hairdo. That's it. Otherwise very much distinct.

From what I've been able to find, and from what I remember, Prince Adam keeps his He-Man identity secret to protect those around him. Really? He's the son of the King and Queen of Eternia. Skeletor wants to take over Eternia. Skeletor is going to attack the king and queen to accomplish this goal. The fact that He-Man is their son might actually be a deterrent. Especially if he doesn't have to take the time to make an excuse to disappear and summon his alter-ego. And while he looks pretty bad-ass sitting atop Battle Cat and riding into a fight, how does no one notice that Battle Cat is a talking tiger, just like Cringer, and that he even has the same coloring? 

She-Ra has a similar problem. There was a big opportunity missed there. In her secret identity as Adora, she could be an undercover member of the Horde while leading the Rebellion as She-Ra. That would work fairly well, right? As well as creating more dramatic tension with Adora wondering when she will be discovered. 

I have some ideas for a re-imagining of the He-Man mythos. I'm working on developing them a little. I may actually post some here.

Suffice to say that He-Man, as the character has previously been presented, is kind of weak, especially for someone touted as "the most powerful man in the universe."

 

I Am a Planeswalker...

I am a planeswalker.

No, not one of those people who walk on planes' wings while the plane is in the air. I don't know what those crazy people are called. (What ARE they called?)

I travel between planes, between universes. And there are many. Infinite varieties of universes.

Once my spark ignited, I was launched into the Endless Eternities, the endless nothing that functions as the border between universes. It felt a bit like trying to swim through molasses with the sound and texture of the grey static that shows up on your TV when it is tuned to a channel that isn't actually showing anything.

Luckily I managed to latch onto the coordinates of Ravnica, and materialized in a marketplace in that city that spans an entire world. It was a little disconcerting, to say the least. I managed to pick up some of the language fairly quickly. I think that may be an aspect of my then new-found abilities with Magic. 

I discovered within a couple months that I was drawn to to the Izzet guild, with their use of Blue and Red Magic, to the exclusion of all else. I can use all five colors of Magic, but I find that I feel more comfortable when using Red and Blue. It's probably because I tend to follow my emotions, but enjoy learning and trying to improve myself. I'm creative and intuitive. I can also be logical. 

While working with the Izzet, I met another Planeswalker named Ral Zarek. He was kind of a jerk though. I've since met others as well. Jace was aloof and more than a little manipulative. Chandra was a little erratic. Koth was intense, but likeable. I liked Gideon quite a bit, he was a little intimidating. Liliana was scary. I never actually met her, but saw her in the distance. That was enough. I think my favorite of the Planeswalkers I've met was Elspeth. Honorable. And she was always so concerned for those around her.

During my travels in the multiverse, I ended up on Theros for a while. It bore a striking resemblance to Greek mythology. Utterly fascinating place to live for a while. Heroes. Gods. Monsters. It was amazing. 

More recently I've been exploring Tarkir. A land bereft of dragons. Culture centers around five clans. Each clan follows its own Khan. It's a rather war-like place, but it certainly has its charms. I've found myself aligned with the Jeskai, a clan of warrior monks. They are aligned with Blue, Red, and White Magic. They look for enlightenment. It is a great fit for my own personality and beliefs. I explored the idea of living with the Temur, but they were a little too ferocious for my tastes. And they liked large beasts a little too much. It was scary.

Now Sarkhan has journeyed 1,280 years into the past to, according to the rumors, save Ugin from Nicol Bolas. I can feel the world changing around around me. In the next few weeks we'll see how everything stabilizes. I'm looking forward to the changes. Will I remember how it was? 

I guess we'll find out.

Top Ten Books...

I was challenged recently to list my top ten books, either favorite books or books that have impacted me and stuck with me. I maintain that trying to choose a favorite book is like a parent trying to choose a favorite child.

Sin embargo, I have attempted to put together a list of my top ten books. Really, the challenge was to list my choices on Facebook. I'm still going to do that, but I wanted to expound upon my choices just a little. 

And it's my list, so I get to do what I want.

1. The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum. I'm also kind of including the other books in the Oz series that Baum wrote, but The Patchwork Girl is my favorite of the lot. The book works so well. There's a real reason for the characters to be exploring all the corners of Oz. There are actions and consequences. It's a brilliant piece of work. 
2. Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. As one of the quote blurbs says on the cover, "The Apocalypse has never been funnier." So what would happen if the Apocalypse arrived, but Heaven and Hell had misplaced the AntiChrist? I think it may go a little like this book. It's brilliant and hilarious. If you read around other people they will ask what's making you laugh out loud.
3. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. This is a science fiction book that takes place in the future. It also manages to be a love-letter to the pop-culture of the eighties. And not just one bit of pop-culture, it spans movies, TV shows, books, video games, and role-playing games. It's handled brilliantly.
4. Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis. This book is not for the faint of heart. It's a tour of the weirdest fetishes in America. It's hilarious. The main character is described as a shit-magnet. If something happens to him, it's going to be the worst possible thing. He's not happy to be exploring America the way he ends up doing, but he soldiers on through. There is only one admirable character in the book, and she shows up for maybe three pages. I do love reading this journey.
5. The Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson. I'm cheating a bit here. However, the three books tell one long tale. Larsson was a brilliant writer. His characters are fleshed out and believable. He brilliantly weaves a tale that manages to include mysteries, investigative journalism, love, hate, courtroom drama, and conspiracies. It all centers around Lisbeth Salander, who, in a brilliant move, is a supporting character when she first shows up. She slowly takes over the story. Her presence is felt, even when she is absent. More books not for the faint of heart. The trilogy was originally going to be called, "Men Who Hate Women." There are some truly atrocious acts carried out. The feminist in me cringes at those, but thrills to the truly brilliant acts carried out by the female characters. There are some truly admirable characters in this novel.
6. Dragonsong/Dragonsinger by Anne McCaffrey. Another cheat, but these two books are very short and together tell the story of Menolly, a girl who isn't a proper girl, who loves music so much that she runs away from home. The growth she experiences as she learns to survive on her own is wonderful. The second book has one part that makes me completely break down and cry every time I read it. This is a powerful story to which I really relate.
7. Top Ten by Alan Moore and Gene Ha. This is a comic book series. It's about the police force in a city of superheroes and supervillains. These are truly great characters. They are believable. And again, there's a part that makes me cry every time. From a comic book. It's that good.
8. On Writing by Stephen King. Essential. Important. Funny. Personal. Revealing. Insights into Stephen King's writing process. I can't emphasize the importance of this book to me enough. It's a great book.
9. The Jim Henson biography by Brian Jay Jones. This biography does not pull punches. It explores every aspect of Jim Henson's life, even the not-so-admirable parts. It ranges from childhood to his death. The description of his funeral makes me cry. It's a well-written and entertaining biography. How often do you get to read one of those?
10. Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan. It's a book about the love of books. It's a whole lot of fun to read. And the cover glows in the dark. I don't want to say too much about the story, because it might give something away, but it's worth a read. Especially if you love books and fonts.

So that's my list. It was hard to choose which books to include, but I managed. 

Planeswalkers...

I've mentioned before how much I enjoy playing Magic: the Gathering. As player personality types go, I am a Vorthos, meaning I appreciate the art, story, and characters of Magic more than the mechanics of gameplay.

Each player in a Magic game is a planeswalker, able to travel to different worlds and universes through the Blind Eternities. On these worlds the planeswalker is able to forge connections to the different lands (plains, island, swamp, mountain, forest) in order to power his spells. A planeswalker is also able to learn to summon creatures (humans, merfolk, zombies, goblins, elves, etc.) from these different worlds. He could also learn to summon help from another planeswalker (planeswalker cards) to enable him to win his battles.

When two planeswalkers do battle, in my imagination they aren't taking turns and casting spells drawn randomly from a deck. That doesn't give you a good chance to win, in my opinion. So how does the game of Magic translate into the fantasy realm that Wizards of the Coast has created. It doesn't, really. The random nature of a deck of Magic cards just doesn't translate well to a pitched battle between powerful mages. However, I have a theory.

What if two (or more) planeswalkers meet up and want to test their skills against each other without running the risk of either dying? Maybe they want to settle a dispute or have placed a valuable item or spell as the prize of their contest. In this case, they might agree upon rules to follow for the contest. Maybe the rules of a Magic: the Gathering game. Very meta, right? The game of Magic is inside the world of the Magic game.

This is where the randomness can happen. Each planeswalker creates a deck of cards representing the spells he or she has learned, and representing the ties he or she has created to the lands providing the power for those spells. Each planeswalker randomizes the deck, draws seven cards, and begins playing, taking turns.

I like this idea. It's simple, yet elegant, and makes it possible for the random nature of a Magic deck to have a place in the Magic Multiverse. Of course, if the planeswalkers were unable to solve their dispute with a game and decided to fight in earnest, then the random nature goes out the window and the planeswalkers start throwing everything they have at each other.

I'm going to try to start writing more, so I hope to do more on Magic. Maybe get into the colors and what each is good at, and which colors I identify with the most.

DVD/Blu-Ray Watching Project

So I've recently inherited a TV for my office. I had one before, but I got an upgrade to a flat-screen, HD, wonderful TV experience. 

I had decided to use my DVD player, but it had some issues during playback: the audio-video sync was off. Way off. Distractingly off. 

This would not do.

So I purchased a Blu-Ray player. It has been bliss. 

Anyway, the update on my project to watch all the discs I own. I've had a couple 4 star viewings that I wanted to share.

Jurassic Park. This is a wonderful movie. If you don't like this movie, well, I'll try not to judge you. Spielberg did a wonderful job. It moves so well. The CGI really holds up incredibly well. And since Spielberg films in levels, meaning there's something in the foreground, the middle ground and the background, Jurassic Park converted to 3D really worked. Chelsea and I watched that version when it was in theaters. Anyway, we purchased a Blu/DVD combo thing and I loved this movie all over again. It's amazing.

The next two 4s came from the Muppet Show. I know, huge surprise, right?

Anyway, one episode featured Joel Grey. I love Joel Grey. He's amazing. The writing for this episode was a little sub-par, but Mr. Grey brings the whole thing up to another level. He performs "Wilkommen," from Cabaret and "Razzle-Dazzle" from Chicago. Just an amazing performance. He really interacts well with Gonzo, oddly enough.

The other episode featured Rita Moreno. She's one of the relatively few people to have won an Oscar, a Tony, a Grammy, and an Emmy. And she brings her "A" game for the Muppets. Her opening dance was amazing. She puts on a heavy Hispanic accent to hilarious effect in one bit, and, at the same time, manages to out feisty Miss Piggy. Granted, this is a Miss Piggy that Frank Oz hasn't quite figured out, but she's still feisty. Rita performs "You Give Me Fever" with Animal and Floyd Pepper. Her interaction with Animal is brilliant and he ends by saying that she's "[his] kinda woman." She manages to match the Muppets' manic energy and elevate it to a new level. Great, great episode.

So the project is progressing and I'm really enjoying it. Haven't really felt like watching many movies or TV shows lately, but that's due to my depression making it difficult to decide what to watch. So I'll keep watching different shows and hope one will really help me work through the recent upheaval that's happened in my life. 

DVD/Blu-Ray Watching Project...

A short while ago I realized that Chelsea and I have a lot of movies and TV shows on DVD and Blu-Ray. Not the most stunning revelation, but at the same time I realized that we had a lot of shows that I've never seen.

I've decided to watch them all. Even the ones I've seen before. Not only am I going to watch them all, I'm going to rate them based on my emotional resonance with the TV episode or the movie.

What are my ratings? They're on a scale of 1 to 5, five being the highest rating.

1 means that I do not like the show at all. It does not resonate with me in the slightest. 

2 means that I have a minimally connection with the show. Maybe there are a couple lines I like, or an actor I really admire.

3 is an average show. This may be a show I feel a lot of nostalgia for, even if it isn't the best-written show ever imagined. This will be a show I don't dislike, but one for which I don't feel any particular like.

4 is a great show. A particularly strong episode, a fantastic movie. An episode or a movie I'll watch again for sure.

5 is a show that moves me. If I start crying, it most likely deserves a 5. These are the shows I come back to time after time.

So what have I decided to start with? The original Transformers animated series. 

I'll probably post updates from time to time. I don't imagine the middle scores will warrant an update. The updates will be those shows I love or hate. 

It'll be an extensive project. I'm looking forward to it.