It's Time to Light the Lights...

In case you haven't heard, there's a new Muppet TV show coming this fall. It's going to filmed in the mockumentary style of The Office. I'll be honest. I don't like the mockumentary style. Neither do I enjoy The Office. However, comma, I do love the Muppets. I have ever since I was a child.

As part of the promotional preparation for The Muppets, Kermit and Miss Piggy made an announcement that was all over the news today. They are officially announcing that they are no longer a couple. The news piece I read said that they had been an item for forty years. 

Here's the thing: Kermit and Miss Piggy were never really a couple. Miss Piggy has been pursuing Kermit since one of the earliest episodes of The Muppet Show, but Kermit has never really returned her affection. Kermit has treated her attention as the price he must pay for getting Miss Piggy to perform on stage, in spite of her diva tantrums.

Even if Kermit and Miss Piggy had been a couple since the beginning, they would have separated long ago due to Miss Piggy's rampant infidelity. During the five seasons of The Muppet Show, Piggy threw herself at damn near every male guest star. The guest stars she didn't sexually harass? Marty Feldman and Don Knotts. In contrast, Kermit was enamoured of exactly one guest star: Linda Ronstadt. What did Piggy do when faced with the fact that Kermit was pursuing another female? She locked Kermit in the trunk where Gonzo kept his mildew collection.

Granted, the above examples could be inaccurate. I mention them from memory. I didn't really have time to do the research necessary to cite each example. However, that sounds like a fun project. 

In the future there's a good chance you'll see a much longer post filled with references and hard evidence.

Kermit and Miss Piggy were never a couple. This "break-up" is purely a promotional stunt. 

He-Man...

...and the Masters of the Universe is probably remembered by most of my generation as being much more awesome than it actually was. 

Don't get me wrong, I have great memories of the series, and I loved the toys. And that was the point, the series was invented to sell the toys. 

With any fictional work, especially one of fantasy, there is the "willing suspension of disbelief" in the person viewing or reading the work. I'm willing to accept that Peter Parker wears a costume so that Spider-Man's enemies don't go after Peter's family. In the Matrix, I can accept that most of the movie takes place inside a computer program. I'm even willing to believe that Harry Potter goes to a school that regular humans won't even be able to see, even if they manage to walk up to the front gates.

The He-Man/Prince Adam secret identity doesn't make any sense to me, no matter how much I try to make it work. In the original cartoon they didn't look all that different? Don't believe me? Check this out:

One of these things is barely not like the other. He has a tan.

In the 2002 reboot they at least tried to make the two look different:

They have the same hairdo. That's it. Otherwise very much distinct.

From what I've been able to find, and from what I remember, Prince Adam keeps his He-Man identity secret to protect those around him. Really? He's the son of the King and Queen of Eternia. Skeletor wants to take over Eternia. Skeletor is going to attack the king and queen to accomplish this goal. The fact that He-Man is their son might actually be a deterrent. Especially if he doesn't have to take the time to make an excuse to disappear and summon his alter-ego. And while he looks pretty bad-ass sitting atop Battle Cat and riding into a fight, how does no one notice that Battle Cat is a talking tiger, just like Cringer, and that he even has the same coloring? 

She-Ra has a similar problem. There was a big opportunity missed there. In her secret identity as Adora, she could be an undercover member of the Horde while leading the Rebellion as She-Ra. That would work fairly well, right? As well as creating more dramatic tension with Adora wondering when she will be discovered. 

I have some ideas for a re-imagining of the He-Man mythos. I'm working on developing them a little. I may actually post some here.

Suffice to say that He-Man, as the character has previously been presented, is kind of weak, especially for someone touted as "the most powerful man in the universe."

 

I Am a Planeswalker...

I am a planeswalker.

No, not one of those people who walk on planes' wings while the plane is in the air. I don't know what those crazy people are called. (What ARE they called?)

I travel between planes, between universes. And there are many. Infinite varieties of universes.

Once my spark ignited, I was launched into the Endless Eternities, the endless nothing that functions as the border between universes. It felt a bit like trying to swim through molasses with the sound and texture of the grey static that shows up on your TV when it is tuned to a channel that isn't actually showing anything.

Luckily I managed to latch onto the coordinates of Ravnica, and materialized in a marketplace in that city that spans an entire world. It was a little disconcerting, to say the least. I managed to pick up some of the language fairly quickly. I think that may be an aspect of my then new-found abilities with Magic. 

I discovered within a couple months that I was drawn to to the Izzet guild, with their use of Blue and Red Magic, to the exclusion of all else. I can use all five colors of Magic, but I find that I feel more comfortable when using Red and Blue. It's probably because I tend to follow my emotions, but enjoy learning and trying to improve myself. I'm creative and intuitive. I can also be logical. 

While working with the Izzet, I met another Planeswalker named Ral Zarek. He was kind of a jerk though. I've since met others as well. Jace was aloof and more than a little manipulative. Chandra was a little erratic. Koth was intense, but likeable. I liked Gideon quite a bit, he was a little intimidating. Liliana was scary. I never actually met her, but saw her in the distance. That was enough. I think my favorite of the Planeswalkers I've met was Elspeth. Honorable. And she was always so concerned for those around her.

During my travels in the multiverse, I ended up on Theros for a while. It bore a striking resemblance to Greek mythology. Utterly fascinating place to live for a while. Heroes. Gods. Monsters. It was amazing. 

More recently I've been exploring Tarkir. A land bereft of dragons. Culture centers around five clans. Each clan follows its own Khan. It's a rather war-like place, but it certainly has its charms. I've found myself aligned with the Jeskai, a clan of warrior monks. They are aligned with Blue, Red, and White Magic. They look for enlightenment. It is a great fit for my own personality and beliefs. I explored the idea of living with the Temur, but they were a little too ferocious for my tastes. And they liked large beasts a little too much. It was scary.

Now Sarkhan has journeyed 1,280 years into the past to, according to the rumors, save Ugin from Nicol Bolas. I can feel the world changing around around me. In the next few weeks we'll see how everything stabilizes. I'm looking forward to the changes. Will I remember how it was? 

I guess we'll find out.